Stretching myself as a writer

"Security is mostly a superstition.  It does not exist in nature.... Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." Helen Keller

Without a doubt Helen Keller's life had to be an adventure... with her challenges it would never be anything less.

How we view our own lives and construct them to be in control varies according to our personalities.  Maybe the same extends to writing.

I like writing within a structure.  It forces me to create more depth in the writing rather than let it spread out and dissipate.  But creating the structures within which I feel safe to write, i.e. that it feels under my control is another illusion of security.

The novel I've been working on for some time was created within a structure partly because I didn't have the confidence with fiction writing to let it spread, but also because I did feel it was the right container for the action.

Recently I've started planning another book.  Completely different topic and I'm struggling with the shape of the narrative.  Several times I've planned it out, tried to write some of it and failed.  For me that's an indication I haven't planned it properly.  In my head I have the whole story laid out.  What I don't have is the outline plan... and it's driving me mad.  

Yesterday I went to lunch with a friend, a fellow writer and we talked it through which helped me a bit and I came back and wrote a synopsis.  But still I'm not sure how to lay it out.  It's tantalisingly close.

So this morning I decided I'd consult a writing tutor.  At least it will give me a chance to get an outside, i.e. detached viewpoint and make me explain my reasons.  If I can convince him at least of the outline, then I can move on from there and create the format.

Should be interesting.  I have this feeling that I'll need to let go of the type of structures that I've used before and create a different type of structure and it's what's giving rise to that old, 'Can I do it?'

Won't know till I try will I?!